


it started with a love filled stuffed animal

by the_sunshine_dims



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Crying, Distorted views, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Repressed Emotions, Repression, Sewing, Trespassing, eventual hurt/comfort, kid!Janus, kid!Remus, kid!virgil, mention of self preservation problems, mentioned intrusive thoughts, platonic anxceit - Freeform, stuffed animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sunshine_dims/pseuds/the_sunshine_dims
Summary: it starts as itty bitty anxiety gives remus and janus stuffed animals, ends as the stuffed animals somehow end up helping them talk and heal their broken relationship after a long time of repressed emotions
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 132





	it started with a love filled stuffed animal

Janus looked up as anxiety finally came out from his room, the smaller kid’s hands were nervously fidgeting with something, _two stuffed animals,_ he noticed with a glance, and he can tell the two stuffed animals were obviously made with so much care too. His heart squeezed as anxiety quickly approached closer to hand Janus a hand-sewed bright yellow stuffed snake and Remus a hand-sewed stuffed rat.

Janus hugged the animal tight, nearly on the brink of tears at how soft and warm-  _ oh and anxiety put a heating pad in the snake _ \- and honestly just, anxiety was too cute, he had been in his room all afternoon telling them not to come in so he could make the stuffed animals, anxiety was such a sweet kid.

A quick glance at Remus who had gotten down from where he had been laying on the top of the sofa and he could tell Remus loved his rat as well, especially since Remus’s eyes and hands were so fixed on his rat. After a moment Janus looked at anxiety again.

“D-do you like- you- you like it?” The child stammered nervously,

Janus hugged his stuffed animal tighter and offered anxiety a small smile “I  _ hate  _ it” he lied.

“Oh- I’m glad!” The kid beamed at them before barreling into Remus quickly for a hug and then quickly going over to Janus to do the same and Janus returned the hug tightly.

“Thank you Annie” Janus spoke quietly and anxiety nodded happily before nervously bringing his own stuffed animal out to view, it was a stuffed spider, it was a little bit more crudely made then the rat and snake because of the more complicated pattern but Janus could  _ see  _ how much effort anxiety put into it.

Janus smiled softly as anxiety beamed “now we all have one!”

He knew instantly how special the stuffed animals were gonna be, and he loved them.

—-

They all named their stuffed animals and every time they crudely made a pillow fort they all brought the animals, if nothing else it was because they wanted to show anxiety how much they loved them.

And they did love them, immensely, especially since they came from the young side.

and they knew  _ just  _ how much love was put into them everytime Virgil beamed the moment he noticed they brought the stuffies with them into the living room for movie nights, and just.. The stuffed animals were treasured by himself and remus, and because of that, remus’s rat even helped with his intrusive thoughts.

—-

God they missed him,  _ god he missed him. _

They were both proud of him, but they both were incredibly lonely after he left.

Janus and Remus ended up sleeping with the worn down stuffed animals every night since he left.

_ Since Virgil left. _

And they both pretended every single night that it wasn’t such a cold comfort, 

They both pretended that when Remus barged into Janus's Room in the middle of the night and fell asleep somewhere on his bed the reason wasn’t that he had gotten lonely without Virgil.

They pretended so much, they pretended to be angry at Virgil while around people, they pretended they were fine after Virgil left, they pretended they didn't feel broken as virgil insulted them, They pretended.

——

Virgil groaned as Thomas and the others continued to argue, he was waiting for Them to finally find a solution, 

And He was prepared for any bazar thing to be that solution, he hung out with Patton he had to be prepared for bazar things. But one of the only things he didn’t expect was being said.

“-then we’ll just have to go to Janus’s room-“

He knew Janus had made an appearance to them but it was so weird hearing them say his name-  _ oh _ \- he finally processed what Logan said,  _ they wanted to go into Janus's room,  _ **_Janus’s_ ** .

He quickly made his stance on that action known “Janus’s room! What will that help? It’ll just make Everyone lie more!”

“I know you don’t like him but thom-“ Patton was cut off in his attempt of comforting Virgil by Logan,

“-Yes, Janus is  _ deceit _ , but he is also self preservation, therefore if Thomas is having a problem with his self preservation we should go to janus’s room.” Logan explained matter-a-factly.

Virgil grumbled but didn’t speak up again, this was a bad idea, a  _ very  _ bad idea, it was always a bad idea when they went into their rooms but now their going into  _ deceit’s  _ room-

He sighed as Thomas did what he needed to to appear in Janus’s room.  _ This is fine. _

As they all rose into Janus's room he noticed that Janus actually wasn’t actually  _ there _ , he counted that as a win, at least for now he won’t have to deal with him.

Unfortunately the lack of Janus left the others to their own devices which meant the others were quickly sidetracked in ‘investigating’ around the room, 

He huffed as he turned to Roman, Who seemed to be occupied in staring at Janus's bed, he raised an eyebrow at him as he turned to look back at them.

“He has a stuffed animal.” was the only thing he said.

Patton squealed quietly “aww! He has a soft side!” 

Roman laughed “the mysterious  _ snake _ has a soft side?”

Patton shrugged “i don’t know, but! He has a stuffed animal!! We’re stuffed animal buddies! And-“

Virgil stopped listening to their conversation as he slowly approached the bed, one thought evident in his mind ‘ _ is it the one I made-’ _ and it indeed was.

The bright color had gotten dulled over the years but the fact it was still intact Was a miracle, but he had to question why it was in janus’s bed, he would of.. kind of.. understand if Remus kept his, if it still helped him with his intrusive thoughts, but for Janus.. it didn’t provide anything for him, especially since Janus always acted like he hated him now.

Though Virgil knows he acts like he hates him too, he’s tried to convince his brain he’s hated Janus and Remus ever since he left, but he honestly doesn’t know why anymore, and he also doesn’t know why just the sight of the stuffed snake makes him oddly happy, it had been so well cared for and-

Suddenly Virgil's brought back to the present by a loud suppressed screech from Janus who had by the looks of it had  _ not  _ been prepared for people to be in his room, he was still for the most part in his regular apparel except without the capelet around his shoulders but he was reared back In surprise at the sight of people.

Fortunately for him it only took a moment for him to take a deep breath and try to talk through clenched teeth “ _ Thomas,  _ what is the reason I have the pleasure of seeing you,  _ in my room _ .” 

Thomas looked sheepish for a moment but before he could get into explaining The predicament Patton was already bouncing forward “you have such a cute stuffed animal!” 

Janus reared back once again with wide eyes and suddenly his eyes Locked with Virgil’s, and then Janus’s eyes skittered to his bed, barely five feet away from Virgil, and Virgil could literally feel the panic  _ radiating  _ off of Janus. 

He could see him trying and failing to regain his composure before giving up and speaking bluntly “why are you here.”

Everything was silent as they all heard the- it wasn’t quite anger- something deeper and more emotional, In his voice, Patton seemed to hunch into himself and Virgil could see even if Roman Hadn’t wanted to come in the first place right now roman looked like he  _ really  _ didn’t want to of come, and Thomas looked kind of conflicted.

But soon enough Logan decided to take charge and spoke up for them “thomas has an issue with self preservation, again, so we thought it would be optimal to come here since you are technically self preservation as well so i hypothesized that the room in a small dose might help him have more self preservation.”

Janus sighed “of course,” he said in an.. honestly exhausted almost hiss. Before he seemed to remember Virgil was there and gave him a quick glance before continuing “I doubt my room can cause any  _ good _ effects, and it’s not worth it to find out, so Thomas, you should be going, and if you are experiencing self preservation issues I will be there soon.”

Thomas nodded And he and the others stayed quiet as they sunk out and assumingly continued their earlier discussion once again in Thomas’s living room, after shooing them off Janus let out a big exhale as he let his shoulders sag, but then he realized he still felt someone there.

_ Virgil _ , 

_ Why was it him? Why couldn’t patton of stuck around for a small moment, Patton wouldn’t know the roots of the stuffed animal. _

He hissed under his breath softly as Virgil continued staring at him.

_ Why did it have to be Virgil who stuck around in his room? _

He tried to seal himself for a brief moment before turning to Virgil with an extremely fake expression “it’s a pleasure Virgil, how you're  _ still  _ here in my room and all. and why  _ are _ you still here?” He hissed, he knew the answer already, Virgil wanted the stuffed animal so they didn’t somehow think he would come back to them,  _ which they didn’t but that’s kind of the reason why they needed the stuffed animals in the first place. _

So that’s why he was so startled when instead of hearing virgil's bitter tone he heard “you.. you kept it..?” In barely above a genuinely in awe filled whisper.

Janus blinked quickly, then he blinked again, there was no hostility in his voice,  _ why? Virgil hated him and Remus now, why wasn’t he angry at him? _

And honestly the answer was; Virgil didn’t even know, he should’ve been mad right? But the thing is he doesn’t even know exactly why anymore, and another thing was, he wouldn’t even of had the right to be angry if he found the snake in horrible condition since he  _ was  _ the one who made it and he’s probably hurt them a lot, but he didn’t find it like that, he found it cared for and  _ in janus’s bed _ ,  **he found it loved** _. _

So Virgil doesn’t know what to think, just like everyone else his views that he’s built on hating the ‘dark sides’ (of which he used to be) are crumbling to the ground quickly.

So they both just kinda stared at each other in silence

It had been a full couple minutes before Janus replied to Virgil's earlier question “..yeah.. I kept it..” he told Virgil nervously, even though he knew he couldn’t just be like ‘oh no I didn’t keep it, sorry’ since  _ Virgil had seen it,  _ he’s still really nervous.

And even though this whole experience had been absolutely unexpected and bazar the next thing Virgil says he swears is the most surprising,

He says “I’m sorry”

Janus rears back, for what he thinks is the third time in less than an half hour, but really who can blame him? When Virgil just said  _ that. _

And for some reason Janus just can’t hear those words, it’s like slowly shattering glass, it’s starting slow but then there'll be an explosion, and he knows he’s a second away from absolutely breaking down (in which he absolutely does not want to do) and despite himself he tries to reassure Virgil.

“Virgil- you don’t have to be sorry, you got in a better situation with being listened to by Thomas, you don’t have to apologize for that.” He told him and Virgil just shook his head gently.

“I’m not apologizing for that,” he told him sternly, “I’m apologizing for every time I was mean to you for you just existing, I’m sorry for hurting you by leaving and then acting like you were the most evil people to ever cross the earth, I’m sorry for letting my view of you get so distorted by me wanting make sure I wasn’t being thought of a villain, I’m sorry for hurting you and Remus so much.”

Janus is silent and he just realized how close they had gotten,  _ how had Virgil gotten so close? _ He was barely a foot in front of him.

And suddenly the dam broke and he stopped pretending for the first time in so  _ so  _ long, he suddenly lurched forward into Virgil arms as he finally let himself sob.

Virgil was there,

Virgil was there and he was suddenly there for Janus once again, he didn’t hate him, he didn’t hate both of the remaining darksides, he didn't hate  _ them. _

He continued sobbing into virgil's chest and Virgil was there, wrapping his arms around him and occasionally tapping a breathing pattern on janus’s wrist as a small reminder to take a moment to breathe, and in return he didn’t mention the small tears forming in virgil’s eyes.

_ he knew everything was gonna turn out okay. _


End file.
